Create Your Dream Team
Who do you spend time with? How do they make you feel? How do they make you who you are?
Most of us never really turn our minds to these questions. When our most intimate relationships are challenged or doomed and end in separation or divorce, this is the perfect opportunity to start to question who us is around and how they influence our lives.
Creating your dream personal and professional team is vital to your success in life and to rebuild your life after divorce or any break-up.
Statistically we know that divorce can lead to loneliness, isolation and depression for many people.
Our families and the people we once relied upon or connected with may no longer be available for us because of many reasons. Perhaps they have sided with your ex-spouse or partner or perhaps they have chosen to pull away because they do not wish to be involved in conflict. Your friends disconnecting or moving away from you may have nothing to do with you at all and more to do with their own fears and insecurities about their relationships.
Why not start today in creating your dream team!
One of the simplest things to do is to look at your circle of friends and family and consider whether they are sabotaging or serving you to be a better version or yourself and helping you to move powerfully forward in life. Divorce brings with it challenges and the last thing you want is people dragging you down!
If you are surrounded by people who do not share the same values as you or who live life in ways that don’t inspire, empower or make you feel better about being around them, then it’s time to re-consider and question why you continue to hang out or share your life with them ?
Time is such a limited resource- creating a life you love and sharing it with people you love is essential because we know that time unlike anything is limited and will sadly end for all of us, when our time on this planet is over.
Do the people in your life Inspire You? Motivate You? or Make You Laugh?
Write a list of all the people in your life that add value to you today!
Remember the people in your life, are not necessarily those who ‘appear successful’ but are truly available to you and can improve, change or motivate you to be better, learn more and live with ease and dignity.
These people are your anchors or ‘rock’ when times are tough or feel challenged.
Don’t forget that your dream team consists of both your personal and professional acquaintances and teams. It may be that you work in an environment where you feel motivate to learn so much more, because the people surround you expose you to new ways of thinking, new books to read, new ideas. By the way it doesn’t mean that you have to agree with everything you see or hear. It simply means that your world opens, and you become emotionally, spiritually and intellectually richer in the way you live your life.
Having a Healthy Divorce and re building your life means being responsible for creating a new and fabulous life for yourself!
The beauty of social media!
The beauty of social media, especially Facebook and Instagram allow us to follow people who make us smile, bring depth to our lives and help us see different and more empowering perspectives.
Below are some examples:
- Authors who inspire
- TED speakers who are innovative and challenge us to be better
- Scientists who work in the field of neuroplasticity and change in our neural networks
- Nutritionists and food experts who educate us about the value of eating well
- Inspirational people (past or present) who have overcome adversity and found opportunities or created them to re-build and live exciting and meaningful lives.
The power of No!
As you already know time is a limited resource. Creating a life after divorce which makes you happy and brings opportunity and comfort to you does require building emotional resilience and skills that you may not have had in your previous relationships.
Saying NO to people, situations or experiences that are time-wasters or add little value to your joy in life is a skill that you may need to practice. Too many of us feel guilty when we say no to friends or family because we have grown up with the belief that we ‘should’ or ‘ought’ to please others or make others feel good. Creating your dream team and having a life you love after divorce means doing things differently.
It’s time to re-think No
Because you are here reading this article it is obvious that you want something more from your life. Having gone through a break-up or divorce (whether it was amicable or horrible) – this experience is life-changing.
Here are some ways to think about No!
- ‘no’ is a choice – it’s your right to choose whether a person in your life is good for you!
- ‘no’ is not personal – this is helpful if you feel rejected – it may not be about you at all.
- ‘no’ is about being grown up – the ability to say no without justification or shame is really about being strong and confident in yourself.
Don’t forget your Professional Dream Team
When you are facing divorce or a break-up, the last thing you may want to think about is divorce lawyers or accountants or even divorce mentors. Many people don’t even know where to start to find the right professionals to assist them.
If you’re stuck then here are some ways you can find the right professionals for you:
- Contact your local Law Society for a list of recommended family law specialist
- Ask your friends (these are people who you genuinely respect and trust)
- If you are a member of a closed Facebook group – perhaps consider asking for recommendations
- Ask other professionals that you already know
- Ask your hairdresser- it’s amazing the people they know!
Finally, we know that divorce and separation are one of the most stressful time for so many people. But in time, with the support of your dream team and trust in yourself, you will have a Healthy Divorce and will re-build your life after any break-up with strength and courage.
Who knows – you may find the love of your life in your search for new friends and connections!
If you feel that you need help getting over your relationship and want support, then check out www.healthydivorce.com.au. We run programs for people going through break-up, separation or divorce.
Disclaimer: This article is not intended to replace any specific advice from a lawyer, counsellor or any other medical professional. The article is general information only.